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Grandma’s Wisdom

South Shore Counseling The South Shore PressWe know that no one is perfect in this world. This message from a very invested “Abuelita” to her grand-daughter is full of love and guidance. Enjoy!

NO ONE IS PERFECT – (GUILT)

EXPRESSING YOURSELF FIRMLY AND TENDERLY

When things don’t work out as perfectly as you would have hoped, don’t give up. Learn from your mistakes how to do better next time.
In the same way we look at our actions, we should convince ourselves that we are not responsible for what other people do. When we have doubts about a certain outcome, or feel guilty about having caused a conflict, the healthiest thing to do is to always try to express our frustration and fears carefully. I recommend you do this in a civilized way that is respectful of others.
When we feel guilty, we generally blame and accuse others. We often feel ashamed, which leads us to punish ourselves and others. I am sure you will face situations that will make you feel responsible for everything that is happening around you. Other times, you will be afraid to face your mistakes.
You should know that I have found myself in this predicament many times. I have felt overwhelmed by fear and totally confused but, as the saying goes, there is always a rainbow after the storm. And it’s true, because as soon as I got over my anger, I would start to express my feelings more clearly and honestly.
Keep in mind both anger and sadness are normal, natural emotions. We must learn to manage them so they don’t make us sick. A bad attitude and resentment get us nowhere.
Life has taught me that we can solve huge problems when we are willing to forgive. My advice to you is: “Sweetheart, swallow your pride; it’s not fattening.”
You need to express your feelings and learn to forgive yourself. When you make a mistake, admit it and ask for forgiveness. Don’t be so critical of yourself. Above all, be kind to yourself and you will feel relieved and happy once again.
South Shore Counseling & Mediation Center is a full service mental health agency, offering CBT counseling, EFT modalities – (tapping), therapeutic counseling, a variety of behavioral and psycho-educational programs and divorce mediation. To speak with one of our therapists please call (631)286-8282, e-mail us at SSCounseling1@optonline.net or visit our website, Southshorecounselingcenter.net.

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