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Kids Caught In Middle Of Divorce

kidsWhen children first find out that their parents are getting a divorce, shock, fear and confusion immediately take over! They can’t believe it’s happening to them. They have so many unanswered questions. The only way to clear up the confusion is to ask their parents to tell them the truth! The following are some of the most urgent questions kids need to have addressed – even if they don’t ask their parents:
• Who will take care of me?
• Where are my parents going to be living now?
• Will my parents stop loving me too?
• Is my parents’ divorce my fault?
• Are there other kids who have divorced parents?
• Can I get my parents back together again?
• Will my parents get sick, or worse?
• Will we have enough money now?
• Will I have to move to a new neighborhood?
• Will I have to change schools?
• Will I have to meet new friends?
• Are my parents going to remarry?
• Whom will I live with if my parents remarry?
• Will my parents fight over custody of me?
HINTS TO MAKE THE DIVORCE PROCESS EASIER FOR KIDS –
• Don’t be afraid to tell your child the real reasons for the divorce or separation, even if it involves talking about abuse, addiction, adultery, or abandonment. Kids need to know that it was not their fault.
• Tell them only the “facts,” when talking about the reasons for the divorce. Specific details are unnecessary.
• Avoid blaming each other for the divorce.
• Try to share positive points about each other no matter how resentful you may feel.
• Give your child the freedom to love both parents. Foster a healthy relationship with both parents.
ALWAYS AFFIRM YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR CHILD –
YOUR ARE DIVORCING YOUR SPOUSE, NOT YOUR CHILD

South Shore Counseling & Mediation Center is a full service mental health agency, offering CBT counseling, EFT modalities – (tapping), therapeutic counseling, a variety of behavioral and psycho-educational programs and divorce mediation. To speak with one of our therapists please call 631-286-8282, e-mail us at SSCounseling1@optonline.net or visit our website, Southshorecounselingcenter.net.

Filed in: Ask Michelle

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