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Geezing Continued!

seperate bedsBack again looking through the eyes of a Geezer!

REASONS TO BE GLAD YOU’RE A GEEZER -

• You don’t have to spend good money on new clothes when your old clothes still work fine
• You don’t have to come home from vacations until you really want to
• You don’t have to be discreet; you can say anything you want and blame it on old age
• You aren’t expected to do any work because of your bad back, hernia operation, and hip replacement
• You and your wife can sleep in separate beds and no one will wonder if your marriage is having problems

For many Geezers, aging brings on a flabby stomach – so while most of you claim to be on a diet, here are just some of the ways you can cheat –

• Feed your dog beef jerky, spam or Vienna sausages, or something you like and snitch a bite or two when no one is looking
• Hide doughnuts inside your pillow at night
• The bathroom is the absolute best room to hide food. You can claim you’re sick and go in there as often as you want
• Volunteer to take out the garbage, but first load your pockets with your favorite sweets and have a private binge fest
• Send pork rinds or Twinkies to yourself in the mail. You can often have them eaten before you get from the mailbox to the front door

 

Sadly to say, some Geezers just like to be alone. For those, here are some ways to make folks go away –

• Eat nothing but onions, garlic, salsa and beans
• Maneuver every conversation around until you are discussing your health problems
• Drool
• Be obnoxiously cheery and grin all the time
• Never allow an opportunity to ask for money pass you by

Hope you have enjoyed my Geezer series – we all need a good laugh once in a while!

South Shore Counseling & Mediation Center is a full service mental health agency, offering CBT counseling, EFT modalities – (tapping), therapeutic counseling, a variety of behavioral and psycho-educational programs and divorce mediation. To speak with one of our therapists please call 631-286-8282, e-mail us at SSCounseling1@optonline.net or visit our website, Southshorecounselingcenter.net.

Filed in: Ask Michelle

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