Ask Michelle

hugesmmmby MICHELLE CAVALERI, LCSW-R Wedding Officiant and Certified NYS Divorce Mediator

Now that school is out and “life as usual” takes on a different routine for most families, I thought a little help in centering your summer MO is in order! So, I reached into my inventory of author Raphael Cushnir’s meditation moments and hope you find them as useful as I have many times in the past!
No one ever went to the grave wishing to have loved less. Only unfounded fear keeps us from sharing our heart’s truth with those who nurture and inspire us. So don’t wait another minute – make a list of all the people you love. Let the term love be flexible enough to encompass every person who’s important to you at your essence, whether your specific feelings are romantic, familial, platonic, collegial, or spiritual. Next, begin letting all the people on your list know how deeply they are valued. This gift, you’ll find, bestows as much upon you as them.
Our opinions form a lens through which we see the world. The more we cling to our opinions, the cloudier that lens can become. Rather than encountering what’s truly here and now, we see our own distortion of it. To help remedy this, select a subject about which you have a passionate opinion. Then, gather as much information as possible in support of the opposing side. Include at last ten significant points, searching for as much merit as possible in each one. When you’re finished, notice whether your actual position on the subject is now a little broader in perspective.
Many things we say and do are instant reactions to something we’ve just experienced. By reacting so quickly, we lose the opportunity to take in these experiences more fully. The discipline of waiting and witnessing often yields whole new ways of being. For one day, before saying or doing anything, allow yourself a brief pause. While waiting, pay very close attention to the thoughts that cross your mind and to the physical and emotional sensations in your body. Note everything you come cross, without analysis or judgment. Does this delay change anything about how you eventually respond?

South Shore Counseling & Mediation Center is a full service mental health agency, offering CBT counseling, EFT modalities – (tapping), therapeutic counseling, a variety of behavioral and psycho-educational programs and divorce mediation. To speak with one of our therapists please call 631-286-8282, e-mail us at SSCounseling1@optonline.net or visit our website, Southshorecounselingcenter.net.

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