by Barbara Guarino Kruk

When someone has been ill for any length of time, especially if they are elderly, their body, as well as their facial features slowly alter. Trauma due to an accident can dramatically change one’s appearance. Very few people who have undergone major medical procedures will look healthy and happy. Being in the hospital is no fun; just being in that environment can cause depression, which shows on one’s face. Our face is the portrait of our inner selves. If we are happy, we smile and radiate our joy; when we are sad those feeling are borne in our facial expressions. Pain, which many of us harbor, is one of the most telling of emotions. Often, we can see both emotional and physical pain in someone’s eyes. Fear, hatred, jealousy are clearly portrayed in our body language and in our appearance. The pain carried by a person the effects of which imprinted on their face after death. Of course, scientifically one might explain this situation as neurological stress, muscle tension, trauma, or any one of a myriad of reasons. I believe that we express pain subconsciously. I am one of those unfortunate souls who wears every emotion on her face; my mother always knew when I did something wrong.
The emotional toll of watching a loved one die is profound. Over the course of months or weeks, we see the decline in their physical and mental state, which becomes draining for both them and you. A once healthy and happy person is rapidly deteriorating into an unrecognizable image of their former self. We lose our dignity, helpless as an infant, dependent on others for even our most basic of needs. Our once meticulously groomed appearance is gone. We lie in our beds withered and broken.
We are honored and proud to say that we cannot even begin to express our appreciation when a family who said they were frightened to see their loved one for the last time because they looked so bad, tell us how relieved they were upon seeing them. You might ask, “Why would you be honored and proud?” That is a fair and direct question, to which I will do my best to answer.
To see the look of relief on the faces of grieving families when they view their loved one is heartwarming to us. To transform a human being that has suffered into a version of their former self, the memory of which the family can hold on to for the rest of their lives, is nothing short of rewarding. After all, when you entrust your most precious family member into the care of a funeral firm it is their duty, their obligation, to do the best for both the decedent as well as the survivors. We strive to create a lasting image of peace for the survivors who have endured their own pain during this difficult period.
Perception is an illusion. To create an image of restoration and peacefulness is a gift we wish to give to every family. To take away the burden of pain, to banish forever the tubes and needles, and to impart upon their broken bodies the care and attention to detail they so deserve, that is our duty.
Again, you might ask, “Why bother; they are dead?” To those who might think this way, my answer is simply, “Why not?” When we were born into this world, and taken from the womb, we were bathed, lotion was put on our skin, and we were dressed, and then presented to the world. We were now officially members of the human race. Why should we leave this world without the same care and ministrations? Death is our farewell to a life well lived. Shall we enter into the Kingdom of Heaven without even washing the stink of decay from our bodies?
We are proud to bring welcomed relief to grieving families. I pray that someone, when I die, will take the obligation to see that my beaten and broken body is restored so that my loved ones will find the peace and comfort I would want them to have. That the memory of me will not be one that will lay heavy on their hearts, but one that will lift their spirits.
To all those we have served for the past forty years, I would like to say “Thank You” for entrusting us with those you love. We have made it our commitment to provide you with the best care we know you so deserve.
Charles Cheslock, age 67, of Eastport, passed away on June 3, 2016. Charles was a local resident for the past 37 years, was a retired contractor at Plum Island. Charles leaves behind his beloved wife Diane, loving children Kara, Phillip dear sister Lynn and cherished grandchildren Dale, Phillip and Marissa. Family and friends gathered at the funeral home. Funeral arrangements entrusted to Wesche Funeral Home Inc., Center Moriches.

Beth Anne Enright, age 44, passed away on June 14, 2016 at Brookhaven Memorial Hospital. Beth enjoyed doing Latchhook and word search puzzles. She was a great listener, and had a wonderful sense of humor with a laugh to match. Beth is survived by her husband; Daniel Azzara, son; Joseph Azzara, sister; Deanna Enright, stepmother; Joan Enright, and aunts; Maureen and Doris Enright. Family and friends gathered for visitation at Davin’s Funeral Home, Mastic. A Mass of Christian burial was celebrated at St. Jude’s R C Church, Mastic Beach with Rev. Gregory Yacyshyn officiating. Cremation followed at Mt. Pleasant Cemetery.

Filed in: Obituaries

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